I don’t want to climb up I just want to die. Watch and lay bleeding this thing between you and I. I’ve lost all nothing gained, sand runs out just grains. That’s all that’s left in this glass; no touching, no ass, no class. Yes nothing remains so how can I stay sane. Wanting you leaves nothing behind, this demon we share christ he just shines. So sing for me banshee let me know my times over; nothing blue, nothing borrowed, nothing that moves time forward. Just a life filled with shadows and sorrows yes love never borrows. So lets go back see how time will react. Back to the moment when we lost it all, sitting on your floor in your home, in montreal. Right to the question that began this destruction. No not about whores far before that. No further back when you said I was unwanted and I didn’t know how to react. My question to you then was should I just leave? You know, back when there was a chance to believe, that there was a me here inside without you. As for today, tonight, tomorrow that is simply no longer true. Mo anam cara I don’t know what to do, how to breathe in a life void-ed without you.
Shaky character a inert flaw, giving righteous indignation before a upcoming fall. You think you know better and that stands a fact, but the harsh cruel reality your more fucked up then that. You can’t pull then push and expect me to stand, honestly where do you expect my heart to land? Not at your feet no that won’t work. Not when your hiding around with comments that hurt. Tell me this then tell me that, expect me in your lap with your ” just having frivolous fun fact” to put faith in you, when you’ve shown none in me? I’m sorry at what part did you think me truly fucking crazy? Sorry nope, I’m smarter then that… Won’t let you back there with the knife if you don’t have my back. So I guess that’s all, I was trying to say. Don’t mix in your heart when the boy just wants a lay.
Focus, clarity, trying for these, but a new wave of sickness can bring me to my knees. Lost in thought without any perception. Just sick in my heart from old and new deceptions. To blame and be blamed to shame and be shamed. That is the point of this whole losing game. We won’t stay the same, even then friends whisper now hate for my name, but who’s fault is that? Not nearly my own, when you go and weave stories of how I tried to steal your throne. That I held you down when in fact you just lied, told me I was the one with her still at your side.
Now the tables will turn and it’s your mind that burns. Will the unease creep slowly? Will it attack you at night? Will you toss and turn awakening with melancholy enhanced fright? If no is your answer then perhaps time will tell. For another has my attentions and soon i will bow to his will. A truer intent all cards on the table I must find myself quickly lose it all so unstable. This game I don’t play and I wish it weren’t true but for me it seems now I must relive life…. as you.